


coming home

by nicicand



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Romance, They die, ben is like...whipped for rey, but it's ok they come back, kind of?, two space kids that fall in luv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 14:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicicand/pseuds/nicicand
Summary: according to greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. fearing their power, zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves..they find each other every time.or; ben and rey are reborn over and over, destined to clash.





	coming home

**Author's Note:**

> this really doesn't make complete sense, but i hold this fic very close to my heart even though it's so short.

according to greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. fearing their power, zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.

 

they've met before and they'll meet again. it's like the sequence of a star dying, bright and all consuming, flashy in a dangerous quality. they relearn every inch of each other over and over again, the crescendo of their nose and the knuckles of their fingers traced like something lost being found. 

a promise nuzzled between the conjuncture of where jaw meets neck i found you, and i'll do it again. and again. i swear. 

they do. 

she finds him first almost every time. there is something remarkable about how his arms fit perfectly around her middle, a puzzle piece in its place. 

_

sixty.

"ive seen your eyes before. let me have look into your soul." the fortune teller grabs both sides of her face in a tender way. "i see him. rather the lack of him, you will find him again, my dear." 

rey jerks away quick, startled in the way where your stomach is in your throat. 

she's quick to leave the little shop, snow cluttering the light posts. she can see her breath in the dark, and the night swallows her up. 

before she can look up, she collides with another body, and her heart jerks. it beats frantically in some kind of poem that she's never felt before. i found you it flutters. 

she's met with dark hair and even darker eyes. it's not possible for time itself to stop, but it does. the snow settles mid air, and she holds her breath as if she may scare the moment off. only know she deftly notices one of his hands is frozen on her forearm, steadying her from the slick of the sidewalk. 

"hi." he says, she blinks and a snowflake falls delicately on her eyelashes. 

"oh" rey returns. they've found each other. 

_

fifty-two.

she dreams vividly at night, dreams of lives that are not her own. of a man that is not her's, with an exposed heart that bleeds raw into her own. in those versions of life she would die for him and she would live for him. 

in some lifetimes she finds him by the tug of his laugh in a diner, others it's the bite of weapons colliding. 

she wakes up gasping.

_

fifty-eight.

ben's four when a feeling that his young mind cannot begin to word, grabs him by a sensitive lump past his ribcage. it twists and yanks in neither a painful nor pleasant way. a weight of emptiness is lifted from his shoulders, but it's replaced by something uglier. yearning. 

his mom brings home a bundle that night. 

"it's only for tonight, the foster family wasn't prepared for her to be born yet, and she isn't even eight hours old. i couldn't not...i felt someone telling me to do something." leia organa's voice is hush and muffled past the closed door of his room where she is talking to her husband. he stumbles bleary eyed and sock-less into the living room, a yawn past his lips. both his parents hear him before they see his small head of too dark hair. 

"ben," leia chides, the swaddled baby fussing on her lap. ben moves to the side edge of couch, it's as if something is coaxing him nearer. 

"you should be in bed."

"can i hold her?"

the baby cries out again, still pink faced. 

leia blanches, looking down at her son. he's peeking over the hospital blankets, eyes intent. 

"alright...let me show you how," she readjusts, putting the bundle in ben's small arms. the baby goes silent all at once, blinking up at the boy overshadowing her view. she reaches up and winds a feather light touch over his inky black hair hair.

leia can't help but feel as though she's intruding on something that isn't seen too often. something that is shared between the moon and the stars, the blade and it's matching hilt. she watches on and knows that this baby is here to stay. 

 

____  
sixty-three.

"yes!" she blurts, wet tears lining where her lashes meet skin. the air in the room has been sucked out like a vacuum, and the universe orbits solely around them.

"i didn't even finish," ben says cross, he looks particularly uncomfortable, half wanting to kneel, but half standing up. "i had a whole speech written. and-and i didn't even say it."

"you don't have to." she laughs, arms wound around him exasperatedly. the kettle behind them howls, but neither of them make a move. ben scrunches his nose. "well im going to anyways." his voice is cutting and gruff, and she can feel where his fingers meet the dip of her waist. 

"rey, i really really fucking love you. it's kind of absurd. my dad wouldn't stop teasing me the first time he met you, and we weren't even dating then. he just gave me that calm look, and told me that you were the only one who'd ever put up with my bullshit, which okay, dick move. but that's the only thing I'll admit to say that he was right about." he sucks in a deep breath. "rey, will you marry me?" 

she seals her answer with a kiss that feels like a homecoming. "you didn't," kiss "answer," kiss "me,". there's a bubble of laughter and her eyes meet his. this feels like a dream gone too well, one surrounded by impish nightmares. she could pinch herself to make sure she's awake, but she knows she is. 

yes. she thinks. he gives a knowing grin.  
_

fourteen.

she is light and he is dark. they bind the universe together, without one, there would be no other. where she goes he is soon to follow. they exist around each other, grappling at the strings of reality. 

she is the wind between the leaves, the heavenly sigh of life and all it's glories. he is jagged pieces of rock that live inside the ground, he fights and he howls. 

they never quite reunite in this existence, they spin around one another. they are palms brushing against palms in the hope to be pulled home. 

_

seventy two.

his body sags, overshadowing her in an encompassing way, blade buried between his ribs. "im sorry," she sobs, hands bloody with red and regret. it's almost sickening that this is the closest they will get to an embrace. "i know." her fingers are caked now, cupping the side of his jaw in a vice grip. he's smiling at her. bright and so full of gentleness, and she has to swallow another sob because why? he could have been saved. he shakes his head jerkily at her, knowing her thoughts as he knows his own. she now knows that the small space in her head was always him. the inky mess of smattering thoughts that were not her's. maybe it was their's. 

"th-thank you." were his lips always this red or is it blood? she doesn't know. it burns. but she holds him upright, even though her knees shake from the pressure. death is heavy and so is he. 

"it's okay, we'll see each other again" his teeth are pink as he speaks, and his eyes are everywhere. first the corner of her lip, then the strand of hair untucked from her ear. they come to focus on her eyes. she nods venomously, choking in the back of her throat. she knows they will, knows the universe works in unexplained ways. 

"im scared." rey almost loses her balance, tumbling backwards onto the fresh snow. he shivers in her arms, boyish in a way that burns her eyes. "can you sing to me?" his voice is cracked, a quality that she loves and hates all at once. "sing me to sleep, please, ple..." she rests a finger over his top lip, blood smearing over the ridges of his cupid's bow. she chooses a lullaby, one that she would sing to herself when all she had was the night and the feeling of emptiness. her voice is rough, tears chase it. but she lowers them to the ground. white and red. it's cold in a numb way and she rocks him back in forth in her arms. "you're so beautiful." she lies roughly, because death is not beautiful in the slightest. a smile pulls at his face, one that is not ebbed with darkness and manipulation. "im free" he whispers. his hand falls to the snowy ground. 

rey's mind is cold and empty. something is missing.

goodbye ben. 

_

seventeen. 

they are the touches between lovers and friends. the blows between enemies. at every connection they spiral back to each other again, colliding in reunion. i've found you. i've found you.

_

one-hundred and two. 

"have you taken your bets on the cadets?" 

"no, but i already know you've placed yours on the most hopeless and scrawniest of the bunch. do you like losing the pool every year?" ben leans back on the helacarrier's frame, eyes lazy in an arrogant appeal. 

"you know, i happen to like the underdogs." poe smiles easily. 

__

"what's her name?" 

"rey,"

ben's eye hold. 

"i'm placing all of my money on her graduating top of the class." 

poe balks.

but, as spring comes, rey is valedictorian of her training.  
___  
sixty-eight.

she traces the curve of his nose, the pattern of the rise and fall of his chest. it is them and only them. it is how it's meant to be but rarely is. 

he breathes against the shallows of her neck, and counts the freckles lining her cheek. 

she is meant to fit in the opening of his side, meant to curl into his rib cage and mouth over the gaps between each bone. there is bare line between what is solely her and what is solely him, they merge over and over; their souls overlap. 

i love you is spoken without words, it is the press of their hands together, and every moment stolen from the earth. 

there is no beginning, middle, or end. it is only them and the same drum of two hearts. 

___

one. 

there's a shattering of cosmos, a violent rip of one becoming two. they spiral away from each other, but they will meet again.

**Author's Note:**

> well. here u go. this is short and sweet and i hope you went through the ups and downs that it brought so quickly. also this is my first published fic!!!


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